There are certain body language gestures that most of us know to avoid. Picking your nose during an interview, public address or, let’s face it, anywhere at any time, is not a good idea. Same goes with “flipping the bird,” rolling your eyes, or sticking your tongue out. Even crossing your arms or standing too close to someone are clichéd no-no’s.
But what about the sneaky signals most people don’t even realize they’re sending? Take leaning back in your chair—you might think you look relaxed, but others may read it as lazy or arrogant. Here are a few other body language habits that can sabotage the impression you’re trying to make.
Avoiding Eye Contact
If you’re interviewing someone who keeps looking away mid-answer, your radar probably goes up. Sure, breaking eye contact can just mean shyness—but it can just as easily read as evasive, untrustworthy, or like they’re hiding something.
Staring
On the flip side, few things are creepier than the unblinking stare. Hold eye contact too long and you stop looking confident—you start looking like a tiger sizing up lunch. It doesn’t just make people uncomfortable; it can come across as downright aggressive.
Nodding Excessively
A well-timed nod shows you’re engaged. But turn into a bobblehead and it backfires—coming off as desperate, fake, or just plain irritating. Overdo it, and people may think you’re trying to rush them along rather than actually listening.
Fidgeting
Whether it’s twirling a pen, fiddling with jewelry, checking your phone, or drumming your fingers (a personal pet peeve back when I was a cashier), these little habits don’t go unnoticed. They scream, “I’m nervous,” “I’m bored,” or “I’d rather be anywhere but here.”
Slouching
If sitting up straight says “I’m attentive and engaged,” slouching says the opposite. It signals boredom, disinterest, or worse—that you don’t think much of yourself. Shrinking into your chair makes you look smaller, which others can read as low confidence, shaky self-esteem, or zero assertiveness.
Tone of Voice
Picture this: you pitch what you think is a brilliant idea, and your boss deadpans back, “Sounds good.” Not exactly the fanfare you were hoping for. Or worse, you’re in court with a pricey lawyer who mumbles and speaks barely louder than a whisper—not exactly confidence-inspiring.
How you say something can matter more than what you say. Speak loudly enough to be heard (without shouting), keep your tone steady, and pace yourself so you don’t sound like you’re either half-asleep or rushing off to catch a bus.
Stepping Back When Deciding
Your “fight or flight” reflex doesn’t care whether you’re being chased by a rhino or grilled by your boss—it kicks in either way. That’s why literally stepping back when asked for your opinion or a decision sends the wrong signal: it makes you look uncomfortable, indecisive, and like you’re hunting for the nearest exit.
Leaning Too Forward
Leaning forward is fine in intimate relationships. In the office, though? Not so much. Lean too far forward and you risk invading personal space, making people squirm, or worse—coming off as pushy or aggressive.
The ability to read body language and pick up on subtle emotional cues is a key part of emotional intelligence—and it matters just as much in the workplace as it does in personal life. Our MEIQ-HR-R3 measures this skill, along with other competencies, including empathy and conflict-resolution skills, making it a valuable tool for both hiring and coaching. Technical skills build the product. EQ builds the team.