Giving feedback—especially when it’s negative—is hard enough. It’s even harder when you’re dealing with someone who pushes back on every point, complains without offering solutions, or starts every sentence with “Actually…” followed by their unsolicited expertise.
And to be fair—sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are the person you rely on to solve tough problems. But being smart doesn’t mean there’s no room for growth. Even the most competent person in the room still has blind spots.
So how do you give feedback to someone who assumes they have nothing to learn, change, or improve? Here’s how:
Never use the words “You’re wrong.”
If someone thinks they’re always right, telling them they’re wrong is about as useful as trying to get a horse to moo. All you’re going to do is waste your time.
The second you come at them swinging with, “Here’s what you did wrong,” they’re not listening. They’re loading their rebuttal. In fact, most people would be doing this. So if your goal is actual change (and not just a verbal sparring match), frame your feedback in a way that doesn’t come off as an attack.
What to do instead:
Start with an observation, and focus on the outcome, not their personality.
Example: “I want to talk through something I noticed in yesterday’s meeting that may be affecting how your ideas are landing with the team.”
Give examples they can’t easily argue with.
Vague feedback like “You’re being difficult” won’t land. It’s too easy to deflect with, “That’s not what I meant,” or “You’re taking it the wrong way.”
So don’t give them the room to wiggle out. Be specific. Point to clear, observable behavior, and ideally, if possible, show that others have noticed it too. One person’s opinion is easy to brush off. But when the same feedback starts showing up from multiple people, it’s much harder to brush off.
This is why tools like 360 feedback are so darn effective. One critical comment can be chalked up to jealousy, misunderstanding, or bad chemistry. But when a pattern emerges, it becomes undeniable.
Try something like:
“In the last three team meetings, I noticed multiple people tried to offer input, and you shut them down almost immediately. That’s not just my perspective—others have mentioned feeling shut out, too.”
When the behavior is obvious and reinforced by others, there’s nowhere to hide.
Appeal to their logic, not emotion.
People who think they’re always right usually pride themselves on being the “rational one.” They’ll spit out counterarguments like sunflower seed shells—and may even poke at you just to get a reaction, so they can say, “See? I’m being calm. You’re being emotional.”
We’re all emotional beings. But they won’t see it that way.
So don’t waste time trying to appeal to their heart. Go for their logical jugular. Focus on what actually gets their attention. Talk about how their behavior is affecting their work. Are they missing chances to be involved in new opportunities because no one wants to work with them? Are you considering handing someone else the reins on an upcoming project? That’s the stuff they can’t argue with (or at least not convincingly).
Instead of saying this:
“You come off as controlling.”
Say this:
“I know you’re confident in your approach, but I’m seeing missed collaboration opportunities because others don’t feel like they can contribute.”
Stick to the facts, the impact, and the outcomes. Save the emotional insight for someone who’s open to hearing it.
The goal here isn’t to beat know-it-alls at their own game. It’s to get through to them. And that means staying calm, being specific, and focusing on impact over opinion.
Even the “always right” types can grow, but only if you give feedback they can actually hear.