One of my previous colleagues had an incredible, almost eerie superhuman ability to de-escalate any tense situation. If I ever somehow end up in a hostage situation, I would want this person to negotiate my release. I’m almost convinced aliens still haven’t invaded because they wouldn’t want to have to deal with him.
That’s the thing about underrated workplace skills: you don’t realize how valuable they are until you see them in action.
Most job descriptions I read are full of the usual requirements: communication skills, attention to detail, adaptability, being a quick learner, and the overused—and total red-flag statement—“must thrive in a fast-paced environment.”
Don’t get me wrong—most of these skills matter. But it’s the underrated abilities that make such a huge difference.
Here are some of them:
1. Knowing when to ask for help.
Some employees ask for help too quickly. They hit one obstacle and immediately send up flares.
Others go in the opposite direction. They struggle silently for hours and only admit they are confused when they are desperate.
The underrated skill is knowing when to try on your own and when to ask for help before the situation becomes a disaster.
Here’s something few people truly grasp: good employees do not need to know everything. Yes, that’s right. However, they do need to recognize when they’re stuck and communicate it.
Seeking help saves time. It prevents errors, shows good judgment, and stops that stress vein from popping out of your forehead. And it’s so much better than pretending everything is fine while you half cry, half pull your hair out at your desk.
2. Knowing when not to speak.
Social media has taught me that some people just don’t know when to mind their business. I feel like we need to relearn simple social etiquette, like if someone doesn’t ask for your opinion, don’t offer it.
Communicating clearly is important, but so is restraint. And I know that you know at least one person who needs it. Some people talk because they have something important to say. Some talk to get attention. Others talk because silence feels uncomfortable.
Knowing when not to speak is a real workplace skill—and, frankly, a good one for everyday life. I want to emphasize that this doesn’t mean being passive or not speaking up, ever. It means reading the room. It means understanding when a conversation needs your input and when it needs you to let someone else finish a sentence in peace.
People who know when to speak are useful. People who know when to stop are awesome.
3. Being receptive to feedback.
Nobody loves criticism. Even “constructive” feedback can feel like being given a rose covered in thorns. But some employees can receive feedback without turning it into a drama. They may not enjoy it, but they listen. They ask questions, clarify expectations, and then take what is useful and improve.
Others react as if feedback is a personal attack, a betrayal, or proof that their manager secretly hates them.
Being easy to give feedback to does not mean agreeing with everything that you’re told. Sometimes feedback is vague, unfair, or really badly delivered. However, you do need to stay open enough to consider whether there is something useful in it. Sometimes, you have to march through the mud to get to the flowers.
This skill matters because pretty much every job you have will come with some negative feedback from time to time. You can try to avoid it by being your own boss, but even then, you’ll still have clients to answer to. It might be better to learn how to separate the message from the mess, because some people deliver feedback with the same tone as nails on a chalkboard.
4. Admitting when you were wrong.
This one shouldn’t be so rare, and yet here we are.
Some people will do almost anything to avoid admitting they were wrong. They deflect, blame, minimize, over-explain, rewrite history, or suddenly become very interested in “moving forward” the exact moment when it’s time for accountability.
Admitting you were wrong is a workplace skill because it shows you’re self-aware, responsible, mature, and courageous. If you’ve ever had a friend, family member, or manager who always refused to admit they were wrong, you know how annoying that can be.
A simple “You’re right, I missed that” can stop an argument in its tracks. And in the end, it’s great to work with someone who can be wrong without making it everyone else’s problem. Honestly, it’s hard not to admire someone who has the ability to admit a mistake.
5. Not making your stress everyone else’s problem.
So here’s something that will come as absolutely no surprise: work can be stressful. Shocking, I know.
Now, I don’t want to say that stress is entirely normal, because there are stress factors that can be avoided, like poor planning, an unfair workload, or micromanagement. But there are some that you just have to take in stride, like a rude customer, a busy day, traffic, or a colleague’s slow work pace.
What isn’t normal is grabbing all that stress and taking it out on everyone around you.
One underrated workplace skill is emotional regulation. This doesn’t mean pretending to be calm when you are drowning. It means recognizing that you’re stressed and not allowing it to dictate how you behave.
People with this skill can say, “I’m under pressure today, so I may be a bit slower to respond” or “I might not be very sociable,” instead of snapping at everyone. They can ask for support without making coworkers feel responsible for their mood. They can have a bad day without making sure everyone else has one too.
This skill matters so much. Your expertise may get you hired, but your emotional regulation is often what determines whether people can stand working with you.
Conclusion
I know these five skills don’t look exciting on paper, but they are often the reason we can function at work without wanting to punch each other.
So yes, job skills matter. But if you are hiring, promoting, or developing employees, pay attention to the underrated skills too. They may be unspoken, but they are definitely not optional.
Deb Muoio