From athletes and rock stars to CEOs and presidents, nobody gets a free pass on criticism. It comes whether you asked for it or not. Sure, it’s tough to take—but most will admit (through gritted teeth) that it made them better. The trick is learning to crack open criticism like a walnut: hard shell, awkward mess, but once you get past it, there’s real substance inside.
Our research with the SCRT-R (Sensitivity to Criticism Test) backs this up. Employees who reacted more defensively to criticism scenarios weren’t just touchier—they also reported lower job satisfaction and earned poorer performance ratings. In other words, how you handle feedback can matter just as much as the feedback itself.
We assessed how people respond to criticism across six different factors:
Here’s what our study revealed: women were more likely to turn criticism inward, taking it personally and being harder on themselves for not measuring up. Men, on the other hand, were more likely to push it outward—convincing themselves the critic was wrong, or even arguing against the feedback outright.
Interestingly, one of the strongest predictors of defensiveness wasn’t gender at all, but self-esteem. People with lower self-esteem were much more likely to respond defensively, regardless of whether those defenses were directed inward or outward.
Here are some tips for offering negative feedback, based on different employee personalities:
The Tough Guys
How they react to criticism:
- Get angry, yell, or turn verbally aggressive
- Blame others for mistakes
- Defend themselves by listing past accomplishments
- Threaten to quit (“Plenty of companies would hire me”)
- Insist nothing’s wrong with their performance
- Refuse to change
How to approach them:
- Deliver criticism privately
- Stay firm and assertive, but tactful
- Acknowledge their strengths
- Encourage them to suggest their own solutions
The Hurt Puppies
How they react to criticism
- Shocked or surprised that you’re not pleased with their performance
- Feel hurt, rejected, embarrassed, self-conscious, or insecure
- Often rank criticism among their biggest fears
How to approach them
- Deliver feedback privately and with tact, keeping a supportive tone
- Start with their self-assessment, then highlight strengths and reassure them of their value
- Frame criticism as untapped potential and link improvements to concrete benefits (e.g., promotion readiness)
- Check in regularly and, when possible, normalize growth through team-wide training or development opportunities
The Quiet Consenters
How they react to criticism
- Reserved; accept criticism with little input or pushback
- May not speak up even if they disagree or have ideas to add
How to approach them
- Be warm, positive, and tactful while making sure to ask for their input directly
- Recognize strengths and accomplishments, then frame criticism as stepping stones to becoming even better
- Set clear, step-by-step performance goals and provide guidance to help them succeed
- Reinforce progress with encouragement, praise, and open-door support to build confidence
Curious how your team handles constructive feedback? Check out . Or go bigger with a full 360° program for your whole team (yes, even you). Book a call to get started.